Flying is hours of boredom, interspersed with minutes of pure bliss, and punctuated with moments of sheer terror. No, pilots really don’t sleep during the long cruise portions, but we have some seriously bizarre conversations and thoughts. Yes, I have discussed the stock market, my children, leisure activities, but I will impart a list of things that have also been thought about.
Please don’t judge…
- How do they get Teflon to stick to the pan?
- Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?
- If a turtle loses his shell, is he homeless or naked?
- How do you know when you run out of invisible ink?
- If you try to fail, and do… have you succeeded or failed?
- Is there a speed of dark?
- “Wise Man” and “Wise Guy”… Why are they opposite?
- Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
- Who was the sadistic person that decided “lisp” should have an “s” in it?
- “Monosyllabic” – 5 syllables. Huh?
- Why is there Braille on drive up ATMs?
- It’s not really “after dark”… It’s “after light”
- “Phonics” – Not spelled the way it sounds
- One goose, two geese. Why not one moose, two meese?
- Mouse, mice. House, hice?
- Why do tug boats push the barges?
- Department of the Interior – In charge of everything outdoors?
- Airplane “black boxes”… Why not make the whole plane out of that stuff?
- If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
- Before drawing boards, what did people have to go back to?
- “Slept like a baby”… Babies I am familiar with are up ALL the time.
- Pizzas are round… Arrive in a square box.
- The man I trust to invest my money… His title is “broker”
- Why is the word “abbreviation” so long?
I admit, not MENSA question material, but all designed to pass the time, yet also engage your creative side. I’ve made ridiculous bets that can never be proven (Superman would WHOOP UP on Spiderman), heard outrageous claims (someone claimed his family invented the word “snarky”), and generally had a good laugh while being engaged. We aren’t solving world problems, but we are awake, alive, and alert. And truthfully, that’s the way I prefer my pilots to be when I am not flying.
-Denny Fitch, JETPUBS Inc.