As I wrapped up my first bridal shower this past Saturday, I was reminded that it is officially wedding season. Last summer many of my closest friends got hitched, and I was a part of six weddings in some way, shape, or form. Now, keep in mind that with each of these weddings come bridal showers, bachelorette parties, and wedding gifts, not to mention additional expenses if you’re coming in from out of town or if you must participate in the wedding party ritual of dressing alike. After getting married myself the previous autumn, I’ve pretty much seen weddings from all angles at this point: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Here are my top wedding tips, no matter what your role in the event may be.
If You’re the Bride…
Take Time to Just Enjoy Being Engaged!
After they get engaged, so many brides jump right in to wedding planning, because after you tell someone you’re engaged, their first question is “when’s the big day?” It’s okay to take a little bit of time to celebrate with your significant other that, yes, you’re ready for that next step.
Master the Art of the Thank You Note… and Soon!
Between engagement parties, bridal showers, bachelorette parties, and the wedding itself, there’s a good chance you will write at least 100 thank you notes (and that’s if your wedding is on the smaller side). While you may think you have plenty of time to write these notes, remember that appropriate thank you note return should take place within one month of each wedding-related event.
Rule #1: There Are No Rules
Gone are the days where you must have the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, and you must have a personal attendant, flower girl, etc. For my wedding, my husband and I had our sisters stand with us at our ceremony as our witnesses, and we had our best friends do the readings and the ushering. The guys didn’t wear jackets, and the gals wore simple black dresses. The traditional rules are out the window – your wedding should reflect no one else but you and your significant other.
Be Personal
Your guests are there to support you on your big day. They have given up their day, traveled to your event location, and dropped money on a gift, all because they care about being there for you. I’ve been to so many weddings where I was only able to squeeze in one or two minutes of time with the bride and groom throughout the entire event! To be personal with your guests, opt for a receiving line to thank everyone personally for coming at the end of the ceremony and make time to mingle with guests at the reception. Since every guest doesn’t always attend both the ceremony and the reception, this will give you a chance to ensure you’ve thanked everyone for being a part of your special day.
If You’re the Bridesmaid…
Just be there (and Know She’ll be there for You Too!)
Every bride has a meltdown at least once during the planning stages of the wedding, it’s just a fact of life. A wedding is one of the biggest parties you’ll ever throw, so the amount of planning can be overwhelming for anyone. I know you’ve already given up three Saturdays to watch the bride try on her dress, go shoe shopping, AND sample the cake, but just remember that when it’s your turn, she’ll be there for you too.
If You’re up for an Academy Speech, Practice!
At one of the weddings I attended, the Best Man was the Groom’s brother and a bit on the younger side. Needless to say, he found out the morning of the wedding that he needed to have a speech prepared for the reception that night. After he mumbled through a thrown together speech, the Maid of Honor got up and delivered one of the best wedding speeches I’ve ever heard (and one that she clearly spent a lot of time practicing). Don’t be like that Best Man: practice, practice, practice!
If You’re the Wedding Guest…
Get Up for at Least One Dance
Pick a slow song if that’s more your thing, or the Macarena if you want to bust a sweet move. Your friends and the happy couple will notice if you’re not out on the dance floor – and they’d love some company, even if it’s only for one song!
Adjust Your Expectations
Every wedding is different. I’ve been to barn weddings and church weddings, receptions in country clubs and ones in others’ backyards! Weddings will not be formatted the same, the event may not last for a long time, and there may only be 50 people in attendance. Know that the Bride and Groom have put a lot of time into planning the event, so if something is not your taste, please keep your opinions to yourself at the event. If you don’t, the Bride’s college roommate will be seated right behind you and will let the Bride know later on what you really thought of her dress (and her dancing abilities).
If You’re the Bridal Shower/Bachelorette Host…
Divide and Conquer
Bridal Showers and Bachelorette parties can get pricey real fast, so the best way to proceed is to find someone to help share the cost and the work with. For the wedding in which I was the Matron of Honor, the Bride also had a Maid of Honor. This decision to have two of us worked out incredibly well because we were able to split the cost of both events down the middle, saving us a ton of money. At the shower I attended this past weekend, different individuals created the invitations, planned the games and prizes, and did the cooking – delegating out the event into bite-sized chunks made the whole thing much more manageable.
Lastly, a Note on Gifts…
Even if you have been invited to, and will be attending, multiple bridal showers for the same Bride, the etiquette expectation is that you only need to buy ONE bridal shower gift. If you feel out of place arriving at a shower empty-handed, buy a small gift for each shower. For example, if you have been invited to three showers, put together a small kitchen set for the Bride: bring the oven mitts and hot pads to one shower, matching towels to the next shower, and a matching whisk and spatula set to the final shower. Voila, a $15-$20 gift that spans multiple events.
Do you have any wedding tips that you’ve learned along the way? Please leave us your comments in the box below. May your summer be filled with joyous occasions and events that are sure to make your happily-ever-after attitude last throughout the rest of the year!
– Lauren Olson, JETPUBS Inc.